Looking for Space

My computer screen went totally blank and I think it was a rebellion against Kid Rock playing on the web radio. I can't say I can blame my computer.

Last night I made scrambled tofu. It had curry, tomatoes, onion, garlic, cumin and spinach. It was pretty good, but needed a bit of salt. Igor ate it and liked it! This is when I realized that I need to be a lobbyist. I told him that the meal was high in protein, which is true, and did not let him look at the tofu before I cooked it. It was the first time he has seen and eaten tofu. So my marketing/selling skills are good, I think. I am honest, but leave out details that might make someone wary of trying my product. DC, watch out! What is funny is that tofu in Macedonian is translated as soy cheese. I guess it is cheese, in a way. So we had tofu scramble, my delicious baked rice that any Chinese or Japanese person would find appalling and chocolate with pop candy in it for dessert. Speaking of chocolate, I am addicted to the Limited Edition Milka chocolate with chili in it. Sweet and spicy. Yum. It is probably a good thing it is a limited edition. Otherwise, I would probably gain some serious weight.

I know Thanksgiving is coming up in the States. I am glad Macedonians don't celebrate this holiday because I have a feeling I would miss my family and the States a lot. I know my Peace Corps friends celebrate with turkeys from the States and everything. Last year, I went to Buffalo with Cata and Sesu to stay with Teeny and Landy, Cata's parents (those are nicknames, by the way). It was so fun - I learned how to play spades and got to pretend that I knew something about statistics (Landy is a bio-statistician). We went to Niagara Falls (um brrrrrrr) and just relaxed. It was wonderful to be in an actual home. So this year, I will spend Thanksgiving in my office, planning a project on social inclusion. My how things change!

Sculpture Remembering the Partisans who rebelled against the Fascist Occupation, Oct. 11, 1941 (yup, that is a lady Partisan, fighting the evil fascists!)

Another part of the sculpture honoring the Partisan fight against the Fascist Occupation. The Partisan uprising was spontaneous and began on October 11, 1941.

Another view of the Partisan sculpture with the Government Bldg in the background

Hey Ya!

You have missed Tito, haven't you? I NEED this book. It will go perfectly with my Tito espresso cup. And who knows, maybe there are some really good recipes :)


First, I am now, officially Macedonian. How? No, it is not due to the Tito series...I have 2 cell phones. One for each provider (there are more than 2 providers but still). Igor got a new phone so he gave me his old phone so we can talk on that provider network. My other phone, the main phone, is the one where I communicate with everyone else since most of my friends are on this network. Upon purchasing the credit on Igor's network, we can talk for 1 denar a minute. That is less than 1 cent. We still text on the other phone. It sounds confusing but it is not. So if you want another number for me, just let me know and I will email you my new cell number.

Secondly, there is a recycling bin near my dumpsters at home. The bin is for plastic bottles and it is more of a cage than a bin. While I am very happy recycling has come to Skopje (officially), I wonder about the Roma who collect plastic bottles from the dumpsters to turn in the bottles for money. Are these people the beneficiaries of the caged recycled products? If they are not, who is? What are the bottle collectors going to do to survive? So now, do I put my bottles in the recycling cage or leave them on the side of the dumpster for the Roma collectors?

Typical building in Skopje

Entrance to Kale, the fortress overlooking Skopje

Asya (my supervisor), her husband Michel, and Igor (my Man)

Smile Like You Mean It

I have become something I never thought I would be: listening to "soft" rock at work. I know, what you are thinking: Where's the Ems that listens to the Misfits, the Killers and Led Zeppelin? Well, let me explain. Dominika and I share an office. Today is a perfect day to listen to the Killers, but whenever I have put on rock like that, sometimes, she politely asks if we can listen to something else. I don't mind one bit that she is not into rock music, at least at work. So we listen to old swing/jazz standards, soft "office" rock (which right now is a mixed up version of "the Safety Dance"), oldies, classical and sometimes, that dreadful smooth jazz music. Some days, I go out on a limb and put on Bob Dylan (received 2 thumbs up) or mixes on my iPod. I know if I want to listen to my own music, I can just put on my iPod, but that cuts me off from the rest of the office and I like being an active participant. Thankfully, the recent soft rock station I found is not excessive Hall and Oates or Lionel Ritchie. These artists are played sparingly and this station keeps the "rock" in its title. The station even plays things like Dirty Vegas' "Without You". Imagine. Groovy.

In internship related news, today, I am working on updating our website - the text that is. I am completely html deficient. I just write blurbs, get them approved and send them off to HQ. Once my handicraft is posted, I'll include the link here. The website I am updating is not our official UNIFEM website; it is the UN in FYR Macedonia website. Ahhhhh, the bureaucracy. I wrote a fact sheet that needs just some finishing touches and have edited other fact sheets composed by Dominika.

Here are some random pictures for your viewing pleasure from my recent jaunt to Belgrade:

Republic Square

Skadarska Street, home to many cafes

Sculpture on Skadarska Street

One of the cafes on Skadarska Street

Blister in the Sun

Nothing could be further from the truth than my blog title. It is freezing cold here and dark, even during the day. No, it is not dark like in Iceland or Alaska, but it is definitely overcast. What's new? Not a whole lot. Oh! In theory, the Skopje office of Air Bulgaria has been authorized to change my return flight tickets. So, later today, I will find out if that is, in fact, the case. What is wrong with this picture: I have to email the travel agent I used in San Diego to get the Skopje office authorized to handle the ticket change. Cristi and I were talking last night that while America is hyper customer service (hence my travel agent from February helping me in November), Macedonia and Bulgaria are anti-customer service. Now, there are tremendous benefits to living here, like if you need your shoes repaired, it takes 15 minutes and is cheap (except for the time when the repair guy dropped a lit cigarette on my leather boots and ruined part of them but, hey, you can't have it all!), you don't get the evil eye if you camp at a table in a restaurant because they get paid hourly, etc.

Speaking of smoking, all cigarette advertising will now bring a 2,000-4,500 Euro fine as of December 1st. This is going to dramatically affect cafes. Many of the cafes umbrellas for shade have cigarette brands or slogans on them. Lots of cafes have twirling boxes of cigarettes in a case, even if you cannot purchase cigarettes in the cafe. Many awnings on buildings over bodegas have cigarette brands on them. I wonder where this anti-smoking campaign came from, considering the majority of the population smokes (youth and adults alike). How did this ever pass the parliament? What will the adverts be when you get off the plane in Skopje now that cigarettes are not to be advertised? So many questions. I will keep you posted.

Remember the no alcohol sales after 7 PM law? That appears to be well enforced. The grocery store covers the wine, beer and liquor at 7 on the dot so maybe the cigarette advertising ban will be the same way. The little bodega near me continues to not sell alcohol. I wonder if there is less youth drinking, which is the main impetus to creating this law.

Say It Ain't So

For once, the song title of my blog entry might *actually* be accurate, depending on your perception of the next few sentences. I applied for a Market Analyst position. And I know I won't get an interview, but is that some how selling my soul? The position has something to do with government contracts and the like...I don't know, but I printed out the position description and all my answers, just in case. You do realize that no one will want to interview me for a domestic position since I live in Macedonia. I understand. They probably don't know where Macedonia is on a map and, before I knew I was applying to this position, I couldn't have located it either. Here is my thinking about my career. Of course, I would love to stay in international development with a focus on women's empowerment, specifically, economic rights. BUT, I realized that I could still incorporate the gender perspective into any position I hold. Yes, I want to use my degree and stay in policy/research. However, I don't have to have such a narrow search, i.e. only women NGOs, think tanks, etc. Is this deja vu from another entry? I think so...

All this brings me back to when I was wanting to relocate from Colorado to DC, before I discovered the MSSP program at Penn. I kept sending resumes and cover letters and I didn't even get a nibble. I will not let this get me down, no! I do not fear my future! Embrace it! And keep searching for that fantastic opportunity...

As far as my weekend went, well, it was pretty darn quiet. Jennie and Igor "met" on skype and there were many "firsts". It was the first time Jennie and I have seen each other since April. It was the first time Igor had experienced a webcam. Of course, Jennie and Igor chatting was a first. It went well and I am so glad we have this technology. Friday, Igor and I ended up going to this very cool cafe called Barista. There were so many textures in Barista. There were individual wood pieces on the wall - like bricks, only wood. There were branches and books in bookshelves. It was great. The only thing was the music was fairly loud (no, I am not getting old! I want to be able to have a conversation in a cafe). Saturday, we met his friends and went to another cafe which had superheroes on the wall. Yesterday was quiet - lots of cooking and knitting. I am trying to enjoy my last couple months in Macedonia. I can't believe Igor and I have already been together two months. I know the next two will fly by.

Why Does It Always Rain On Me

I am anticipating my first quiet weekend in Skopje in a long time. I have no guests and the dinner party I was going to hold tomorrow is postponed. I am not making a quick dash to another country nor do I have any plans, other than watching a Macedonian movie with Igor tonight. I would like to catch up with my family and friends online and sleep in. My sleep has been troubled this week. I think it is due to stress. I am trying to do calm and positive things before going to bed, but for some reason, that is not enough. Last night, I had strange dreams and slept very lightly. So this weekend is when I will take care of myself. I will look for jobs, pay my rent and chill. The weather today is gloomy and I think we are finally getting the rain that we were supposed to be having this whole month. Perfect tea-sipping, knitting weather! Speaking of weather, I had a funny experience. One of my friends on Facebook who is in the States said he hated that it was so cold - 27 degrees. I was thinking that is not cold at all - it is actually pretty warm. Then, I realized that I was thinking in Celsius, not Fahrenheit. I am not totally converted to Celsius but still. I am more adjusted to being here and I don't even realize it.

Breathe

Sunset at Lake Ohrid


I may have to go to Sofia, Bulgaria to change my ticket. Um, what?! I have the lady who booked my ticket helping me work something out but seriously?! What is the point of having an office in Skopje if it can't change oh itineraries? Hence the name of my blog this time - it is a song, but it is also what I am attempting to do at a calm rate. Never fly Air Bulgaria. They also lost my luggage on my way to Skopje.

In other news, I have enjoyed my past two afternoons staring at an excel spreadsheet and making budgets work. In all reality, I liked it because I forgot how great Excel can be, once you unlock the magic. Function key. It is all about the Function key. If only there were a Function key to fix my issue with Air Bulgaria...

Things are good. I uploaded my pics to facebook and I should do the same for you here. I will give you a few teasers...




Skopje Center Square

Makedonija Street, Skopje




Painted Mosque, Tetevo

Strange Currencies

I have a fear that I will repeat song titles for my post monikers. Oh well, please forgive me!

You are looking at my super-cute niece and nephew this past Halloween. The Princess and the Pea...I have not met Will as he was born in June and I simply cannot believe how big Emma is now! I am really looking forward to seeing them. This brings me to my next topic and that is that I am leaving Macedonia in 9 short weeks. I have no idea, at this point, what will happen after I leave, other than I am flying into Philadelphia and staying with my Cata and Musashi. Not knowing my next step is adding significant stress in my personal and professional life. Igor wants to know what next and I cannot answer him. My bank accounts want to know when they will be replenished. I had dinner with Dao last night and realized (again) that I am very comfortable here, albeit a bit homesick. I know all I can do is continue to work hard at my internship and apply for jobs. I want to be excited about my future and lose this anxiety. I listen to President-elect Obama's acceptance speech to inspire myself and say the "Yes we can" mantra to myself. In all reality, I have not learned how to accept my feelings and not fight them. Sure, I don't want to go overboard, but just allowing myself to be would be refreshing. I have learned so much during these past 6 months.

In other news, Belgrade was fantastic, even though I was there for something like 6 hours. I loved the bus I took - it was a commuter bus and they showed movies and even gave me bread and butter for breakfast after we crossed the Serbian border! It was such a different bus experience from when I went to Sarajevo. No 2 hour border crossing! No cramped, musty seats! No smokers in the front of the bus! I had lunch with my UNIFEM colleagues and they are so wonderful. What a blessing to have such wonderful people to collaborate with and to have terrific conversation. I did not make it to the Tito Mausoleum or the Tesla Museum but that just means I have to go back. I managed to immediately get lost upon exiting the bus station and the people on the streets were so helpful and friendly. I did get to see the bohemian cafe street and roam the pedestrian area. As much as I love Skopje, being in an actual Capital City with 2 million people (keep in mind 2 million is the entire population of Macedonia!) was refreshing.

I reserved my tickets to Rome for Christmas. I have until December to pay for them and I am trying to get excited about going! I get to see Jennie and Ste, along with his family and, oh go to Italy for the first time! I won't get to spend new years there because the flights from Rome to Skopje are only on certain days and I don't think they fly on Jan 1.

And, finally, I will be 30 in a couple weeks and I am in shock - I never pictured myself being 30, let alone that I would be in Macedonia to celebrate. I hope my 30th year is not as difficult as my 29th year. Don't get me wrong, fantastic things happened this year, but it has been very challenging. I will start my new career, visit exciting places and get a dog. Sounds like a plan. Onward!

La Dolce Vita

It has been decided: I am going to Belgrade on the (wait for it) 4 AM bus tomorrow morning! Yeah! Why would one leave at such an un-Godly hour you ask? Well, it is a commuter bus, meaning we don't stop at all the wee towns along the way and I feel much more secure arriving in Belgrade at oh 9 AM than at 12 AM. I am thinking I'll leave late Saturday night and I won't even have to hostel it up, but we'll see about return ticket options. My UNIFEM colleagues are meeting me for lunch. So there you have it. Now, I must research how to get to a place I would actually like to visit from the bus station. I think I want to stroll down the pedestrian center...in all honesty, I am a bit burned out of churches and historical sites, particularly byzantine forts. I know I should jump on these opportunities, but we'll see if there is a must see on wiki travel and the like...OH MY!!! There is the Tito Mausoleum! I think my Tito series would be greatly enhanced if I made it out to see Josip Broz himself! And, it is free to enter! I will also try to update my blog again, either today or this weekend. Cheers!

Blueberry Hill

I think it is funny that I am the only person listed as a follower on my blog.

So, I am back to reminiscing about my parents' visit and applying for jobs. I was very disappointed to find out today that I am too old to apply to be a UNESCO Young Professional. I am too old by 18 days. It just stinks because I have been waiting to apply for about 2 years. Oh well, that means there is something out there that is better for me! I am applying for another job at OSCE up in Prishtina. Fingers crossed. Looking for jobs is seriously a full time commitment.

I know my Mom and I's favorite visit of the trip was up to Matka Canyon, just outside of Skopje. TJ (my Dad), Momma, Igor and I went up there via taxi and we totally lucked out with taxi drivers! Ours was great and came back to get us later that day. Anyhow, there is this huge dam, which produces hydro-electric power. Behind the dam is a winding, beautiful canyon with what appears to be a still, aqua lake. We hiked along the canyon for a while and that is when Igor noted that he had never experienced silence like this. We stopped and listened and I don't think I heard anything, besides my own breathing. I really need to upload pictures because it was beautiful. Near the dam was a church St. Andrea (Andrew for us Anglos!) and the curator let us actually take pictures of the frescoes. We had a pleasant lunch after our hike and on our way into Skopje, our taxi got a flat tire. Thankfully, we were near a tire shop so we all got out while our drive drove on the rim to the tire shop and waited about 15 minutes for the tire to be changed. At least some things are efficient in Macedonia! I liked getting out of the city and experiencing the stillness of Matka.

In other news, I am having problems with my ears and my medical experience has been somewhat mixed. I have yet to be triaged or weighed. My temperature was taken once (of the 3 times I have been to the doctor). In fact, I don't think I know what a Macedonian nurse looks like. You just check in then the doctor sees you right away. Unless I am seeing nurses and not doctors but I don't think that is the case. I had to roaring ear infections and they don't seem to be going away. While my ears don't hurt, they are full of fluid so I feel like I am underwater and can't hear very well. I don't like my ear, nose and throat doctor. She gave me a hearing test when I told her I can't hear very well because of the fluid, then failed to explain any results and charged me for it. She also mutters and when I say I can't hear her, tells me I have hearing loss (thank you, Captain Obvious. I came to see you because my head is full of fluid, making me not hear well!). I don't think anyone has heard of decongestant here. I go to the pharmacy and they give me nose drops. All I want is DayQuil or something along those lines! I will consult Dao for surely she has something!

Back to work and job applications :)

Do You Believe In Magic?

Today, if you do nothing else (besides read my blog), read both Senators Obama and McCain's respective speeches about the election outcome. The graciousness, particularly exhibited by John McCain is humbling.

In other news, I have a fashionista update. Today, I saw a side rat tail on a teenage boy. It's like he got his mullet cut off and forgot a little strand. To cap it off, he is wearing his school uniform - a sport jacket and tie. Rat tail. It is like this, only not braided and a bit longer. Also, this particular fashion victim did not have a buzz.

Finally, I am attempting to change my return flight to the States from December to January. I went to the Air Bulgaria office yesterday around noon to find out that the person I need does not arrive until after 3:00. Awesome. This could have been avoided had a correct phone number been listed on the Air Bulgaria website. So I went back around 8 last night only to find out that this representative can't help me because my tickets are based on fares only offered in the US and so I have to contact the office in Sofia. He was tremendously helpful and actually nice. I left armed with an email address to send my inquiry. So I send off my request today and get a response that I need to go to the Skopje office to get help. I sent a reply saying I went there, this man told me to contact you and to proceed from there. Still waiting for a response. It is amazing how quickly people try to pass the buck. I am talking about the Sofia peeps, not the helpful Skopje person. Welcome, once again, to the Balkans.

What a feeling

*Please note: I linked the cities to their various wikki pages so if you click on one Ohrid link, you don't need to click on the next link*

On this election day, I give you two pictures from my first visit to Ohrid with Manuel and Maria. Um what is up with this guy? I wonder if he looks like this in real life or if he is a total disappointment. The other picture is part of my Tito series. The series lives, more than you can imagine. My parents and I found a picture of Tito laying in a parking lot! So I am going to clean it off and see if it can be saved. No, I am not a communist, I just collect Tito pictures/images. I know, it is strange. But he is everywhere. Any how Kej M. Tito is the pedestrian street along Lake Ohrid.

So let's begin with my parents and I's trip to Ohrid. We stayed in an apartment about a block from the Lakeside and we walked and walked and walked. Our first evening, we had dinner at a place called Belvedere and it was quite an experience. There were musicians playing Macedonian folk songs and the restaurant was smoky, much to my parents chagrin (I am used to it since something like 70% of the adult population smokes). Despite the smoke, the food was delicious and the company excellent. We arrived in Ohrid around 7ish in the evening so dinner was our main and only event. The next day was the day of the eternal walking and church viewing. Ohrid has 365 churches. We saw 5 or so. Our day started out at a cafe on the square near the old city and my Dad was overjoyed when he asked for an americano, and, after some explanation, received said drink. We saw churches, went up to the fortress on the hill looking over the city and ended up at a restaurant where we had Ohrid trout for dinner. At the fortress, there was this older man playing what I can only guess were Macedonian bagpipes. The problem was there didn't appear to be any sort of melody to his playing. He was on top of one of the overlooks of the city and lake so there was no escaping the music. I offered to my Dad to see if there was a CD of this painful music and my Dad reassured me that his music collection was just fine sans poorly played Macedonian bagpipe music. I respect anyone who is going to go out there an perform, but please, make sure you know some songs. For some reason I am reminded of Dao and I's Gloria Estefan marathon in Kotor. Remember? We were sitting on the bay in Kotor, Montenegro enjoying a drink after a day of roaming the streets when this cafe played non-stop Gloria Estefan. After an hour or so, Dao and I could take no more and left. We would have happily stayed for dinner had the music been a bit more varied. Any how, back to Ohrid...I need to upload pictures of the place - it is the pride of Macedonia. You will see why. The bus ride between Ohrid and Skopje goes on the outskirts of Mavrovo National Park. The trees are changing here and Maria described the changing colors best - it looks like an old rug with oranges, rusts, browns, some reds and greens. The rolling uneven trees look like a worn out shag carpet and it is beautiful. You can look down into the valleys and see little villages with reddish clay roofs and wonder what in the world people do in these places, not just for work, but in their spare time. I have the same questions when I go through the little towns off I-70 in Colorado that are not ski-related...

In other joyous news, I am excited to report I found, with the help of Dao, a brand-new American style coffee shop here in Skopje! They even have bagels! Granted, you can't get just a bagel and cream cheese - you have to get the whole sandwich, but you would not believe my joy. They have brewed coffee, not just espresso or Turkish coffee! They have flavor syrups from a company I recognize! Brownies! Chocolate chip cookies! Carrot Cake! I have yet to experience the coffee shop, but I assure you I will let you know if it is remotely like sitting in the Green Line (Philly shout out!), Higher Grounds (Golden shout out!) or any other local place to grab a coffee. It may have wireless too. Part of me feels guilty about being so excited about this coffee shop. That little voice says, "you didn't come to Macedonia to go to American style coffee shops; you came to Macedonia to experience their culture." Oh well, I figure there will be Macedonians in the coffee shop!

Ok, back to work, but I will write more about my parents' visit and try to upload more pictures soon. Don't forget to vote! I sent in my federal ballot weeks ago so here's to hoping it counts :)

You were always on my mind

Hello again! Sorry for the long hiatus. Having my parents here made for a whirlwind of activity and I apologize for not updating you sooner. I am trying to not be horribly sad that my parents left at 4 AM this morning and focus on how lucky I am they came all the way here to see me and experience my life in Macedonia. We went to over 10 churches/monasteries, up the Vodno mountain on the south side of Skopje, out to Matka, a man-made lake where I think I experienced total silence for the first time, off to Skupi the I-IV AD century Roman ruins of Skopje, down to Ohrid, east to Kriva Palanka and all over Skopje. My parents were robbed, harassed by street children, and, by the end of their trip, experts at crossing the street/avoiding being hit by cars. Despite all of this, they were sad to leave their Elmo and reassured me, once again of their unconditional love and support for me and have a warm place in their heart for the small country of Macedonia.

I think I have done a good job of not being homesick and yearning for the States. I focus on experiencing my life here. That being said, I miss some things about America. Mostly, I miss having people around me who have known me for so long, even if I can only talk to them on the phone. My father reminded me, not in a negative way, that there are significant cultural differences between America and Macedonia. I think I gloss over these things out of self-protection. I want to see people as people, not national identities. The inherent problem with that is one fails to see that there is no way you can fully understand or appreciate other people's upbringings and surroundings. I may see a tree, while others see a playground - or vice versa. I ignore the differences, hoping they will go away, instead of simply observing them. But ignoring the differences only brings an overwhelming sense of isolation when something or someone familiar is around, then, as quickly as they came, gone. I am becoming a professional at dealing with being by myself and I must trust my friends and colleagues who I have so enjoyed here to support me while I find my footing again. I truly enjoy my life here in Skopje and I don't want to sound like some pessimistic expatriate. I am not that, I simply was reminded how much I love and miss my family and my country. Next entry will bring you a more thorough description and pictures of my parents' and I' s adventures in Macedonia.

In the mean time, I have to leave Macedonia this weekend to renew my visa (don't ask) so I am hoping to take a bus to Belgrade. I have to plan that trip, change my return flight tickets to the States to mid-January, buy my tickets to Italy for Christmas and possibly New Year's, work on my internship duties and find a job that wants me to start in early to mid-February. Oh and I am dying to see how the election turns out. Ciao for now!