Saturday, March 28, 2009

Fabulous

I am pet-sitting this weekend. Just me, Tony (the chocolate lab), Kiwi (the cockatiel) and the boys (2 orange kitties...can't remember their real names). I am really both enjoying being alone and, well, feeling alone! I went to pick out a mattress set today and bought loads of groceries. I've been on this health kick and so there were lots of veggies and fruit. I am also buying for 4 people (including me). Everything was on sale at the store - I saved almost 25%, but still spent lots of money. I like grocery shopping, especially when I am not hungry. I tend to make better food choices and buy less random stuff, like weird beans or something. Any how, being able to drive around, sing in the car and do what I want when I want has been a real treat. I realize how lucky I am that I don't have to think about any one else when I make decisions like buying a mattress set. I can pick what I want.

My life has been in transition for at least a year and a half. I am finally feeling a sense of stability creep into my being. It is strange because I knew when I was managing the law firm, that wasn't "it" for me, but I never really understood that, even then, my life was in transition. On Wednesday, the first day I am officially earning money at my job, is when I can finally say I've arrived, in a sense. This is what I have been searching for. I work at a job where I love what I do and it fits, both in terms of the work and the people I work with. While I was at the firm, I adored my colleagues and they adored me, but my work in no way satisfied me, except when I was challenged to learn something new or given a new level of responsibility. While I know this feeling of newness will not last forever, this is what I have sought my entire life. I no longer feel shiftless or like running far away, trying to escape. I'm here. I don't seek meaning outside any more. Here's to hoping this stays with me and that I can hearken back to this feeling when I have a craptacular day. Cheers!

2 comments:

zoNa said...

i can't tell you how happy it made me to read that post!!! congrats em. a million times over, congrats!!!!

zoNa said...

i miss the elmo blog!